Only You
by IsabellaSwan1331
Summary: Bella and Edward have known each other since third grade. However, things start to slowly fall apart for them as Edward's new girlfriend comes to town. As they look back on their past together they slowly begin to realize they only want each other. Rated for scenes/later scenes/language. OOC
1. What Happened?

My phone buzzed loudly, and I looked down glaring at it. Edward was calling me. I picked it up, preparing myself to yell at him, "You know, Edward, I'm really not in the mood to talk to you right now."

I almost hung up there but his words stopped me, "Now hang on, you may be done talking, but I sure as hell am not."

"What, did you call to break me some more?" I growled irritated. _Did you call to ask why I cry on the cold, bathroom floor every night? Did you finally listen to my damn voicemails from god knows when? _

"No, Bella, we need to talk." He replied.

"About what?" I said, showing in my voice how much I didn't want too.

"About the way you acted around Tanya." He said, waiting for my response.

"Edward, you're not my father. I don't need you telling me about my attitude. I've grown up, surely you've noticed." I said with a hint of venom coating my words.

"From that display yesterday, I would have thought otherwise." _Ouch. That hurt. _I remained quiet and he sighed, "I didn't mean that."

"You didn't?" I asked doubtful. "Because it sure seems like you did."

"I don't mean that," He repeated.

"Whatever, what do you want, Edward?" I said. I was used to his verbal abuse sometimes; he would claim he didn't mean it. I was only used to it because he was my best friend in high school. He was the only one who noticed me.

"I told you already," Edward said, "Why can't you accept Tanya?"

**././.**

"_Who would you want to marry?" I asked. I was always hoping he'd say me, but I knew that would never be the answer._

"_Hm…I don't know," Edward replied, "Most likely, the person I would be in love with," I smirked at his answer._

"_Well who do you think that would be?" _

"_Someone…beautiful, someone I've known for a while…you can't rush love." He said._

"_Thank you Doctor Phil," I teased, pushing him away. He laughed and looked around the backyard. _

"_I'd marry you," Edward said after a quiet moment. My heart skipped a beat. I was always just his best friend; he couldn't mean that._

"_You don't mean that," I said aloud, looking down between the grass I was dragging through my fingers. _

"_Yeah, I do," He replied, "How about this? If neither of us is engaged, or married in the next seven years, I'll marry you."_

"_That's a second resort, not true love." I answered, bitterly. I had to look away from him._

"_We've known each other since before we could walk, Bella. That's got to say something?"_

"_Well what does it say to you?" I asked._

"_It says true love begins with a friendship."_

_**./. / .**_

"You could fuck him; maybe he'll dump her and go off into the sunset with you." Jacob, or Jake, my best friend since Edward had left for college, always gave me these scenarios. I never had the money to go to more than a few classes a week, and Edward had a full scholarship. I'm not sure how that scholarship wasn't mine, but I had to suck it up and move on. "It's not like he's marrying her."

"Not yet," I muttered.

"Has he proposed?" Jake asked.

"I don't know; I just got back to Forks yesterday, Jake." I replied, stabbing at my salad. I was twenty-one, which made Jake twenty, and Edward twenty-two. My birthday would be here soon though, and I would be twenty-two in less than a month.

"So you haven't talked to him yet?"

"Not since he emailed me a few days ago." I said, "He emailed me asking me to come back to Forks so I could meet her."

"That's rough." Jake commented, "Maybe he wants you to be jealous so you'll make your move."

"If only he weren't madly in love with her." I sighed. I'd read his emails, and when he described things, especially people, he did not disappoint. Unfortunately, he disappointed me by that, but I guess the best friend doesn't count, right? "He's written her up to be this amazing person, and he hates perfection. I've seen a photo of her, but I haven't officially met her. I wonder if I can just claim to be busy with work and go back to Tacoma."

"Oh no, you're not skipping this." Jake said, "You want him don't you?"

"Well yeah, but I'm starting to wonder if that was all just a high school crush thing." Jake shook his head.

"You want him don't you?" He asked again.

"Yes," I sighed, defeated.

"Then you will stay here and try to win him back."

"It's not that simple Jacob."

"Speak now or forever hold your peace, my friend." Jake replied, "Better to break them up now than at their wedding. I know you'll get invited to that, and the wedding might not be as easy to break off."

"He said he wants to propose to her over dinner sometime this week. He wants his friends and family to see how much he loves her, damn it to hell Jake, he's trying to fucking kill me." I growled irritated.

"Exactly why you need to stop it." He continued, "You want that to be you he's proposing too."

"If we ever get that far in a relationship."

"Again."

"Again," I agreed.

**././.**

_His lips. That's all I could function on. The sweet taste of his soft, caressing lips. _

_My first kiss. He was my first kiss on this very night. How I'd longed to kiss him; maybe he knew that. Maybe not; he was always oblivious to my feelings for him. I wasn't prepared for him to kiss me, but I sure as hell knew I wanted it. _

_Like clockwork, he would climb into my window, while Charlie was out at work, and lie down on my bed next to me. We were fifteen, but that didn't stop the butterflies in my stomach whenever I saw, touched, or talked to him. This is what happened first…_

_I was lying on my bed, reading a book for school; it was awfully boring, but being who I was, I read it anyway. I heard the window open, and I smirked to myself. I didn't have to look up to know that Edward had climbed up here, at night thirty at night, while Charlie was out, just to see what I was doing. I felt the side of my bed go down more at the extra weight. He had his head down at the other end; I knew what he was looking at, and I tried to keep the blush off my face. I could feel his fingertips on my leg, playing with the loose threads on my shorts. I tried to keep from gasping as he moved his fingers up more; I also tried to keep from moaning. I bit my lip and turned to face him. He kept his hand on my thigh and looked up at me. "I have to read." I said, my voice cracking slightly. I saw the corner of his lips tug into a smirk as he heard it. I turned away from him again to keep from blushing more._

_He shifted his position and lay on his back, with his head on my pillow. "You always read." He teased, brushing my hair behind my ear. I laughed a little and watched as something in his eyes changed. His hand moved to the back of my neck and he pulled me down, bringing my lips to his. My heart froze and I was quickly losing air; did I really care, though?_

_Edward was kissing me. Me! Me? He was kissing me. His lips were gentle and soft, slowly moving with mine. I couldn't believe this was happening. He tangled his fingers in my hair, while the others held onto_

_mine. It was the sweetest first kiss ever; and it wasn't sloppy or scary…anymore. It was absolute bliss. We heard the front door open, and Charlie called my name. I jumped up, almost like I had been shocked. Edward smirked and stood up. He gave me one last, small, quick kiss before jumping onto the tree outside my window, and going home. "Up here dad!" I called, closing the window once he had gone inside. The one thing Charlie didn't approve of and we'd just broken it: No boys in the bedroom. I couldn't stop smiling the whole night, or the next day at school. He knew that smile was because of him._

_**././.**_

_Did he know these tears were because of him? I lay, sprawled out on the small bathroom floor, crying my heart out. The floor was cold, but it felt good on my pounding head. I made up my mind; I hated him! I truly hated Edward Cullen!_

_He was the pigheaded, dumbass that I'd been so stupidly blinded by. I let him fool me again. A kiss here, another there. But what he did this time, I wasn't sure I could forgive him for. He was always the most popular, the not-always-so-bright but kind of smart, handsome, funny guy I thought I loved. I knew I loved him, but right now, I could say otherwise. I threw up again, clutching my abdomen as I lurched forward, purging my stomach of its contents. I'd given him everything, and he gave me nothing in return except disappointment. _

_I was crying because I thought he was someone different. When I was with him, he made me feel beautiful, and myself. I felt like I belonged. But not, it felt like he threw me in gasoline and lit me on fire. He always thought he wanted the perfect girls, but I knew well enough to know he didn't. He always said that and I knew he believed it. But I caught him kissing another girl at our senior graduation party, and so I took off, not giving him a minute to explain; why would he need to? I'd seen it all already, what could he possibly need to explain? I wasn't sure why this hurt me so bad; we weren't together, together. Not like I'd hoped we were._

"_Bella," I looked up to see him watching me from the stairs in the hall. I wiped my eyes and stood up, flushing the toilet of my stomach. _

"_What did you see?" I asked, turning away from him. I heard him sigh._

"_Everything," He replied. He saw me cry, and empty my stomach. He knows he caused this. _

"_Good," I replied sharply. I hated when people saw me weak, but he had to see what he'd done to me._

"_Bella," He started again. I was glad Charlie was out; he didn't need to know this. "I'm sorry…"_

"_You should be…this isn't the first time I've cried over something you've done." I hissed, "Maybe I was wrong about you."_

"_What were you wrong about?"_

"_You like the game," I replied, "I'm just another piece to you, it seems." _

"_No you're not Bella." He said quickly, walking over to me. I felt his arms almost around me._

"_Don't touch me," I snapped, pushing away from him, "I mean it this time, Edward."_

"_Bella what can I say to make this right?"_

"_You should already know that." I replied._

"_Bella please," He said; then he cracked a smile, "We both know I'm an idiot."_

_I almost smiled, "Don't make me laugh. I'm pissed off at you…you are an idiot."_

_He sighed and wrapped his arms around me again. I didn't shove him away like I wanted to. _

"_I'm sorry Bella. I'm really, really sorry. I fucked up, and I don't blame you for hating me." Edward said, "I can't take it if you hate me though. I just didn't know what you wanted in our relationship." That set me off again._

"_So you thought kissing another girl would make me decide what I wanted?" I yelled, this time shoving him away. _

"_No Bella! That's not what I meant by that at all." Edward answered. I turned away from him to brush my teeth; I couldn't stand this horrible taste any longer. "I just didn't think you like me that way."_

_I spun around fast and glared at him, "You thought I didn't like you that way—god what the hell is wrong with you?" I shrieked, "I've been in love with you since sixth grade! What fucking signs did you misread? Because as far as I know, I've tried getting your attention for years, Edward! Years! How the fuck didn't you notice that?" I was crying again. My eyes burned from the earlier tears, but somehow they still fell. "You were my first kiss; the first to know everything about me. Hell I wanted you to be my first everything! I loved you Edward! But you didn't seem to love me back!" He stared at me with his mouth hanging open. I stormed into my bedroom, Edward in tow, and lay down on my bed, turning away from him. He closed the door behind him and kneeled down by my bed. I sighed, "Go away, Edward." I couldn't believe I had just told him everything. I felt his hand slip over mine and I turned to face him, "I said leave me alone."_

"_I don't want to do that, Bella." Edward replied just above a whisper. "I can't lose you." I forgot how pissed off I was at him when he said that. Everything I'd said I'd meant. I still wanted him to be my first; I wanted to know that he loved me as much as I did. I'd had boyfriends, but he didn't seem to really care. I never let them near me "that close" because I wanted that to be Edward. I was still a virgin for a man who never picked up on anything I let him know about my feelings for him. _

"_Then prove to me," I answered, "Prove to me you're mine, and maybe I'll forgive you." _

"_How can I do that?" Edward asked, holding my hand. I thought about it for a moment before pulling his lips to mine. I grabbed the collar of his shirt and yanked him up on the bed, on top of me. I put my hands under his shirt and held his waist. I began to unbutton his shirt, but before I had it completely off of him he held my hands. "Bella…"_

"_I want you, Edward." I replied, "I want to know I'm yours. Please."_

"_What if Charlie comes home?"_

"_He has a late shift tonight." I dismissed, "I know I was angry with you…I know what I said. But I love you too much to give myself to someone else."_

"_You love me?"_

"_Yes," I replied, my voice shaking. He kissed me again and worked on getting my clothes off. I was completely bare before he was; I felt vulnerable. I didn't look at him; I kept my eyes closed as I felt him get back on top of me. I was scared to do this, but if I told him that now we would stop; however, I think we were too far to stop now anyways. He wrapped his arms around my waist and held me tightly. I could feel him close to me; he was about to enter, but I stopped him, "Edward wait, I need a moment."_

"_Are you scared?" He asked, "We can stop."_

"_No, I don't want to stop," I shook my head, "I just need a moment to prepare myself." After a long minute, I nodded and he filled me. I cried out in pain, tears brimming my eyes. I bit my lip and dug my nails into his shoulders, gasping at the pain. _

"_It's okay, Bella." He whispered, kissing behind my ear, "You're okay, it'll pass." It became a dull pain after a few seconds, and I nodded again. He slowly began thrusting in and out of me; whispering in my ear, "You're beautiful."_

_My fingers flew to his hair. I held it between my fingers tightly, gasping as each breath became short, and each thrust became a new level of bliss. Before I knew it, I had come undone. I gasped out in pleasure this time, holding him close to me. Edward kissed me, his body erupting in shudders as he came. We lay there, regaining our breath; he was still inside me. He was big, and when he pulled out I almost sighed. I missed the contact immediately. "Don't go yet, please." I said as he pulled the blanket up over us. He wrapped me in his arms and kissed the top of my head. _

"_I love you." He whispered._

_I'd never heard him say it, but I smiled, "I love you too."_


	2. Plotting Ways

**A/N: Really nice reviews! Thank you so much! I wasn't really asked this, but the timeline will be a little confusing, but they're flashbacks. I'll try to make them go in order a little, but I might have a few chapters where it'll get kind of confusing. I'm really glad you guys like it so far though!**

"Jake, please!" I begged, "I need your help!"

"Geez, you're that desperate?" Jacob laughed more. I hit his arm and he flinched, but kept laughing.

"Of course I am!" I sighed, "I know I'm desperate…but I thought maybe staying away from here would keep me from thinking of him, but then now that he's talking to me again and I saw that picture of him I realized I don't want to lose him again."

"You do realize he's not technically yours, right?"

"Not helping, Jake!" I hissed, throwing my head down in my hands. I flopped down on my bed and sighed. "I hate this…I hate that I want him so much."

"Bells, look at me," Jake said, sitting down next to me. I uncovered my eyes and did as he said, "You're beautiful, smart, and funny. He has to take you back."

"Thanks," I smiled, "But I don't think we should set my hopes that high."

"I'm not," Jake objected, "What? Should we make a deal now? If you don't get him before he proposes, we'll marry?" I smiled at the absurdity.

"Please…us? Get married to each other?"

Jake snorted, "Yeah, I guess you're right…that sounds a little cliché considering he already said this to you…"

"Could you imagine it though?" I asked, smirking. Jake snickered this time and nodded.

"You with curlers, yelling at me to get my lazy ass up…yeah I can see it." I laughed and pushed him off the bed. He hit the ground, laughing hysterically.

"This is why you're my best friend." I said, smirking down at him again.

"This is why, if we ever did get married, we wouldn't be sharing a bed." He said, getting up.

"Oh god no…" I choked through more laughter, "You and your perverted mind, hands, and jokes."

"Hey I'm not that bad." Jake said, nudging his shoulder against mine. I rested my head on his shoulder and sighed.

"I guess I could live with it." I said after a moment, teasingly. Jake shook his head.

"I couldn't…my ass would be flat by the first week."

"And that's so tragic," I said sarcastically.

"You think you're so funny, Swan." He said, snapping his fingers in front of my eyes.

"You're damn right I am, Black." I said, "And what's this," I repeated his action, "for?"

"No reason," Jake shrugged. I sighed; _Edward always said that to me when he did things_ _he never thought about_.

**././.**

"_What the hell do you think you're doing?" I nearly shrieked, pulling Edward away from the edge of the rocks. He pulled me into his arms. I felt his cool lips press against my forehead; he was shaking with laughter. _

"_Bella, I'm eighteen now." He replied, "I can do what I want."_

"_What?" I asked, pulling away from him. "Would you jump off a bridge if it made you look cool?"_

"_Why not?" He teased. I rolled my eyes._

"_You're gonna end up killing yourself one day." I sighed, pulling myself away from the rocks this time. "What were you going to do?"_

"_Jump off the rocks," He replied, not hearing his own stupidity._

"_Why?"_

"_No reason."_

**././.**

Jake had left about thirty minutes ago, and here I was waiting for Edward to call me so I could meet up with him. I was really dreading meeting this so-called perfect eye-candy he was so enthralled with. I mean, if I had to be honest, she was pretty. But the prettiest were always the bitchiest; from what I knew at least.

My phone rang and I quickly answered it, "Hello?"

"Bella?" Edward's voice came over the other line. My heart swelled up. It had been years since I'd heard his voice. The voice of velvet that told you everything you wanted to hear; god I was so damn pathetic…it was royally fucked up in my case. Hearing him say my name was enough to make my heart almost give out.

"Mh hm," I replied. I knew my voice would crack if I spoke now.

"It's good to hear your voice again," He said, "Can we meet you at Charlie's?"

Why did she have to come here? "Uh, I don't think that'd be a good idea…Charlie's really busy today; the house is kind of a mess…don't want to give her the wrong impression." I almost let the bitterness in my voice spill over; I had to be professional.

"Oh," Edward replied, "Uh, let me see if my parents are home. I'll call you back in a minute."

"Okay," I said, listening as the line hung up. I always hated how he never said goodbye. "I bet she gets a goodbye." I muttered to myself. _Goodbye, I love you. _I was so determined to give myself an aneurism. I would be dead before he even proposed to her. My phone went off again and I picked it up.

"Can you meet us at my place?" He asked. "They're home…do you still remember where it is?" _How could I not?_

I smirked, "No…I only came over so many times when we were in high school."

I heard him laugh, "See you soon."

"See you soon." I repeated, hanging up again.

**././.**

"_Edward, we're gonna get caught." I protested, holding my flash light up to keep some light around the empty greenhouse. "Why are we even in here?"_

"_I have something I want to show you," Edward said, holding my hand and leading me towards the back. _

"_Edward, wait!" I said, halting to a stop. "I have a bad feeling we're going to get caught." I said again. He laughed._

"_You're no fun," He smirked, kissing me. "Geez, relax," He said, rubbing between my shoulder blades. I did slightly, however, I was still tense. "We'll be fine."_

"_I swear to god—," He cut me off with another kiss._

"_Just be quiet and follow me, please," He said, his eyes slowly making me forget what I wanted to say. I followed him to the back and gasped when I felt his arms go under my shirt. His fingers were on my bra clasp._

"_Edward, now I know we'll get caught." _

"_Not if we're quiet," He replied, kissing me again. He undid the clasp and brought his hands out to the front of my shirt to remove it. I tried desperately to stop him; but I found myself wanting him more and more as his touch got softer and softer. I was completely bare from the waist and up. I shivered as the cold, autumn air brushed against my skin. His fingers didn't help with the shivering. He pulled his shirt off and leaned me against the wall. I gasped as the ice cold metal wall hit my back. He laughed and pressed his lips to mine again. _

_Edward kneeled down to undo the button of my jeans, his lips getting lower with each tug of my pants. He kissed between my thighs, causing a moan to erupt from the back of my throat. I felt his lips smirk against the now, bare skin of my leg. The only thing that stood between us now, was my underwear, which he quickly pulled out of the way. I felt his touch leave me as he went to take the rest of his clothes off. Before I could give myself enough time to regain my breath, I felt him kiss higher up between my thighs again. Closer, and closer until finally his tongue hit my most sensitive area. I gasped loudly, throwing my head back against the wall. I ran my fingers through his hair as he sent me to a new high. I'd never felt this kind of pleasure, and I certainly hoped now would not be the last time. _

_I writhed above him, moaning as I came close to feeling bliss. Before that even happened he stood up and thrust into me. He was still so big; I couldn't hold back the moan. I almost scolded him for leaving me hanging, but that was quickly forgotten. Each thrust made our breaths ragged; he was getting faster, and I almost couldn't take it. I brought his lips to mine as we came together; breaking into deep shudders as we felt what we so desperately wanted. My knees buckled below me, and I pulled him down with me. I could feel him staring at me; I blushed into the darkness, resting my head on his chest as I slowly regained reality. A loud bang from the front caused us to quickly jump up. We dressed quickly and Edward went out to see if anyone was here. "They're gone."_

"_Someone saw us?" I asked mortified, "I knew it! I knew we'd be seen."_

"_Relax Bella," Edward said, rubbing my arm, "Whoever it was most likely didn't even know it was us…they left before they could get names." I thought back for a moment, thankful neither of us had said the other's name. _

"_You better be right."_

**././.**

I drove up to the house, parking on the street. I remembered this place; It didn't look like it had changed. I knocked on the door, my jaw slightly dropping as I watched Edward approach; he looked more attractive in person. _Damn this is gonna be hard_.


	3. Could It Be Classified As Reality?

**A/N: New update. I wasn't originally going to do this because I have a lot of studying, but I've gotten a lot of messages, and some reviews telling me to update so I'll take some of my time to write this for you. **

"_He's a dick, like all the other guys," Jessica claimed, rolling her eyes. Angela nodded, biting her lip. "I mean, you caught him kissing another girl, and then you let him do that to you? What the hell is wrong with you? He's just gonna hurt you in the end." I looked down, shameful. I knew Jess was probably right._

"_I don't know…I just can't let him go. I've known him my whole life…he's my best friend…" That was my lamest excuse yet. I realized just how selfish I sounded. _

"_Your best friend whom you just fucked—isn't that like, weird or something?" Jess asked. _

"_Well, at first maybe. But he doesn't make it awkward." I replied._

"_That's because he's making it seem like it didn't happen, right?"_

**././.**

Seeing Edward again suddenly made me think of that day I told Jess and Angela. Jessica had been right; for not only my sake, but also his, he made it feel like it never happened every single time. I felt betrayed now; how I hadn't before made me feel stupid. He had used me, but it had been two years, and I had to move on. I would be professional about this. "Bella, it's been a while." Edward smiled, pulling me in for a hug. I tensed, "What's wrong?"

I shook my head, "My neck is just sore," I lied. I was surprised he believed me. "It's only been two years by the way."

"I know…but you look…different somehow." He replied, eyeing me carefully.

"Enough about me," I said. Edward chuckled.

"Same as the old one though." He commented, "You always hated when I complimented you."

"I never hated it…I just wasn't used to it." I added. "Anyways, are you gonna let me in so I can meet Tanya?" He laughed again at my outright question. Edward stepped aside and let me in. His parents' house hadn't changed much either.

"Oh you must be Bella!" A very young looking woman, with curly, strawberry blonde hair, smiled at me and held her hand out. I shook it hesitantly and plastered a small smile on my lips. "Edward's told me tons about you!" This was Tanya; I'd be stupid to think it wasn't. "It's nice to meet you."

My throat suddenly went numb; she was beautiful, thin, sweet; She everything I always thought Edward never personally cared about. "It's nice to meet you too." I stuttered out.

"So, how have you been, Bella?" Tanya asked politely.

"I uh, I've been good," I replied awkwardly. I just met her, and she acts like we've been best friends since kindergarten. "I've actually been really busy with work."

"Oh really? What do you do?" She walked over to the couch and smiled, "Come sit."

I walked over to the couch and sat down quietly. Tanya gave me a waiting look, like she wanted me to say something. Then I remembered the question. "I, uh, I work for a cosmetics company. And I also work part time at a real estate agency." I replied.

Tanya brightened up even more, "Oh my gosh! Really? Maybe you could do my make up for the wedding!" She gasped, "Maybe you can find us the perfect house!"

"Oh no, I don't put it on. I sell make up." I answered quickly. "I'm not much of a make-up wearer…but I would love to…sell you a house." I said awkwardly again.

"You never did wear it," Edward said from the doorway; a small smirk playing on his lips. I narrowed my eyes at him slightly, but turned away.

"Oh that's okay then," Tanya said, dismissing it. "Maybe you could sell me some then. And I'm holding you to that house," She smiled. I nodded.

"We'll see." I said, giving her a small smile.

"So Isabella," She said.

"Bella," I corrected.

"Bella. How long are you staying in town?" She asked.

"I have two months off. I've had too much work time, according to my boss." Edward burst out laughing, only to quickly turn it into a cough as I glared at him. He turned and left the room, laughing again as he went upstairs. _Why did he leave me here with her?_

"I'm so glad you could make it for the wedding!" My heart sank. He _had_ proposed to her. Jacob would want to hear all about this later.

"Wedding?" I asked.

"Edward didn't tell you?" Tanya asked confused. I shook my head. She sighed, rolling her eyes. "I think he was waiting to tell you. Stupid, me." She said with a small laugh. _Yes, stupid you_. I thought bitterly. _Stupid you for stealing the man I once loved, and have suddenly fallen in love with him again! So yes stupid, stupid, naïve, little, thieving, wench! So yes stupid you!_ I couldn't hold back my anger in my head; it was miracle I didn't say it out loud.

"It's okay," I said, "If he was gonna tell me, he'd say it straight out."

"Yeah, but he knows you better; he should have told you."

**././.**

"_Bella," Edward said, leaning against my locker, "I need to talk to you about something." He ran his fingers through his hair nervously; his face looked troubled. I instantly wanted to run; Whatever he had to say, I don't think I wanted to hear it._

_I nodded, a lump rising in my throat; I followed him away from my locker to an empty part of the corridor. "Can I say something first?" I asked. Edward gave me a curious look, but sighed and nodded. I bit my lip, "I got accepted to the university!" _

_Edward smiled, pulling me into his arms, "That's awesome, Bella!" He leaned down to give me a short kiss. _

"_What was it you needed to tell me?" I asked._

_Edward shook his head, "I forgot."_


	4. Breaking News That's Breaking A Heart

**A/N: I've decided that in my spare time, I would write more for you guys.**

"So you and Tanya are getting married," I said, forcing a smile on my face. Edward looked up at me from a stack of books; his face looked slightly knowing.

"I figured she'd tell you," Edward replied, walking around the desk in Carlisle's study. I moved out of the doorway so he could get out, and he turned to lock the door. "I guess since you'll be in Forks, you could stay for the wedding." He suggested, turning to face me. I nodded.

"Uh yeah, maybe. When is it?" I asked.

"May sixteenth," He answered, leaving the hall. I followed him downstairs and he grabbed his car keys. "Tanya, I'm taking Bella for a ride. We've got some catching up to do." He called.

"Okay! I'll see you later! Love you! It was nice meeting you Isabella!" She called back. I almost growled; I hated my full name.

"Love you too!" Edward said, closing the door behind us. I could feel my eyes well up with tears; he didn't understand how much that broke my heart and I couldn't do a thing but choke it back. He opened the passenger side door for me, and I quietly thanked him. Once Edward was in the car, he started it up and drove away from the house.

"Where are we going?" I asked.

"You'll see," Edward smirked, "Come on, don't spoil the surprise."

"You know I hate surprises." I sighed. He laughed; sounding carefree like I remembered him.

"Exactly why I'm doing this," He said, "That was exactly why I always did what I did."

"Even when most of them required you being sent to the hospital for stitches, and pissing Carlisle off." I smirked back. He looked over at me, shaking his head; the smile never leaving.

"Which also resulted in pissing you off as well." Edward added, turning to face the road again.

"Yeah, I remembered it being almost every weekend I'd get a call from you at the hospital."

"It wasn't every weekend; you always did exaggerate."

"I do not!" I defended stubbornly.

"Do too," He said matter-of-factly, "I've known you my whole life, Bella. Hell, I dated you for years. I know everything about you; I probably know you better than you know yourself. So therefore, I think I know when you exaggerate."

"Oh really?" I said in a mocking tone. "What do you know about me?"

"Hm," Edward said, shooting me a small look as he thought, "Your birthday is September thirteenth, you like the color blue…I was your first," I blushed at his words, which only caused him to laugh.

"Leave it to you to bring up that." I sighed.

"Not my fault you wanted me," He said teasingly. **Correction:** _want_.

"I was not the horny one," I retorted, "Mr. Man-whore." Edward burst out laughing, squeezing my knee.

"Exaggerating, Bella," He smirked, shaking his head.

"Oh I think that's far from it," I replied, crossing my arms over my chest, "Now where are we going?"

"Nice try." We were silent the rest of the way, and I suddenly started remembering where we were going. Edward parked the car a few minutes later, shutting the engine off completely. "Do you remember this place?" I got out of the car and nodded, slamming the door accidentally.

"Sorry," I said, shaking my head. Edward dismissed it and watched me. "I remember this place," A small smile played across my face, "You were an arrogant jackass when I told you not to jump." We laughed for a moment and I walked closer to the edge.

"I should have listened too. I couldn't play for the rest of the football season after that." He said, following me. I looked down at the rocks below; my eye caught a shiny object on a ledge a few inches below my feet. I bent down to pick it up and examined it closely.

"Hey wasn't this your watch?" I asked, holding it out to him.

"Damn, I knew I lost that that night." He said, looking at it. "Erosion screwed this thing." He picked at the rusted silver, and checked to see if, by some miracle, it was still working. It wasn't. He was about ready to throw it in the water when I stopped him.

"Hey whoa! No!" I said, grabbing it from him, "You're not throwing that in the water." I protested.

"Tree hugger." He sighed. I rolled my eyes at him and shoved the watch in my pocket. "You're keeping that?"

"No, I'm gonna throw it out when I get home." I answered.

"I stand by my tree hugger statement." He teased in a low voice, looking down at the water.

"Mature." I replied, rolling my eyes again. We were quiet again, listening to the rushing water drown out the silence.

"I'd do it again, you know." Edward said after a moment.

"Do what?" I asked, looking up at him. He turned to face me, smirking slightly.

"Go back in time, and jump from these rocks."

"Why? So you could watch me get pissed off again?" He shook his head.

"So I could see the sheer panic on your face."

"Why?" I asked again, "That wasn't funny Edward."

"Then why is it we can laugh about it now?"

"Don't question me with philosophy, Edward." I scolded, "Watching you hit the rocks, and nearly bleed to death in the process was the worst thing I ever saw."

"Bella I had scratches, a broken arm, and one gash that needed stitches. I didn't nearly bleed to death."

"Perhaps from the blood loss, you forgot that your father gave you a blood transfusion." I added.

"Oh come on Bella!" Edward sighed, "I think my own father would tell me if he did that." He argued.

"He did; I stayed with you at the hospital all night. Carlisle told you when you woke up."

"No he didn't."

"Edward please do not argue with me! I was the conscious one. I know what happened." I replied.

"And Bella, I'm telling you. I didn't need a blood transfusion."

"For God sakes! Would you just listen to me for once?" I cried, aggravated by his stubborn attitude. "You needed a blood transfusion; two pints to be exact. You don't realize how hard you hit those rocks, Edward! You only remember me yelling at you on the way to the hospital, and then you blacked out. Then the next morning you woke up, Carlisle explained what happened, and you were still on the medication!" I took in a deep breath and sighed, crossing my arms over my chest. I was twenty-four year old woman arguing like a five year old; it was ridiculous. Edward's expression softened a bit and he sighed with a nod.

"Fine."

"Is that a 'fine, whatever, stop talking,' or a 'fine, I believe you'?" I asked. He chuckled slightly.

"A little bit of both."

"Why did you bring me here?" I asked after a moment.

"Isn't this where we always used to go?" He asked.

"Well, yes…but after we….I mean, we stopped coming here." I said, awkwardly. Edward nodded, looking down at the ground.

"We should probably get back then…Tanya's probably waiting for me."

"Okay."

**././.**

"_Edward stop! You're not jumping from all the way up here!" I protested, following him over to the edge._

"_Why? Are you scared I'll get hurt?" He smirked, pulling me into his arms._

"_Yes! You're stupid if you think you won't hit those rocks." I responded. Edward laughed and kissed my forehead._

"_I'll be careful, I promise." He loosed his arms around me and started to unclasp his watch. "Here, hold this for me; I don't want to get it wet." I unwilling took it from his hands and sighed. _

"_You're going to get hurt, Edward." That was a fact. _

"_Bella, I'll be fine." He dismissed, holding my hand for a moment. He walked over to the edge again and took in a deep breath. As he jumped off, my heart lurched; but not from his jump…from the sound that came moments after. He yelled out in pain, and I ran to the edge, looking down. _

"_Oh my god! Edward you idiot!" I yelled, running down to the sandy shore. His arm was definitely broken; I came up beside him and began crying, "I knew this would happen! I shouldn't have let you jump! God, you idiot!" It was mostly my nerves yelling at him. _

_I helped him up carefully and we walked over to his car. I quickly went back up the rocks and grabbed the bag with his keys in it and got into the car. He was bleeding badly, and I didn't know what to do, other than tie his shirt around the top of his arm to keep the blood from flowing out. "I can't believe you did that! This is all my fault! I warned you! I told you; you were going to get hurt! You didn't listen to me, Edward! You never listen to me!"_

_I kept screaming at him, and his slight laughter was the only thing keeping me sane; it told me he was alive and partially okay. "Bella, it's not your fault." He said, his breathing was ragged. _

"_Yes it is! Don't try and convince me otherwise! I let you jump." I was trying to see through my tears, but it was nearly impossible. The part that scared me next, was when he blacked out. I was screaming his name, trying to wake him up, but nothing worked. We were minutes from the hospital, and I was thankful there was a rescue team outside when we arrived. I left the car on and quickly jumped out, asking them for assistance. _

_I watched as they put Edward on the stretcher, and Carlisle came out to see what had happened. "Bella, is everything alright?"_

"_No…Edward and I were down at La Push by the rocks. I told him not to jump from the rocks higher up, but he didn't listen! It was my fault, I didn't try and stop him." I rambled on, my voice was thick with tears. Carlisle calmed me down at said I could see him once he was taken care of. I waited nearly two hours before I'd heard anything. _

"_He's asking for you," Carlisle said, "I gave him a blood transfusion. He lost two pints of blood. His right arm is broken, along with a few scratches. And he managed to get a deep gash in his abdomen. I want him to stay here over night of course. Would you like me to call your father and have him pick you up?" I shook my head._

"_Can I stay here with him, tonight?" I asked, "Please." After a moment Carlisle nodded. _

"_Alright." I thanked him and went into the room. _

"_Hey," He said with a tired smile._

"_You had me worried," I answered, sitting down in the car beside the bed._

"_I know." Edward nodded, "It wasn't your fault, you know."_

"_Some of it was."_

"_Don't blame yourself for my stupidity, Bella." He scolded._

"_I let you jump."_

"_Is it your life goal to punish yourself for every little mistake?" He asked in a low voice. I looked at him slightly outraged by his accusation; but I realized he was dead-on. _

"_It's not my goal. I just don't see how it wasn't my fault also." He groaned, shaking his head. His fingers traced my lips and he whispered, "You're so naïve, Bella. This wasn't your fault. Please don't argue with me. I'm in too much pain for it." I nodded and carefully leaned forward to kiss him. He kissed me back, and stroked my check with the back of his hand. "I'll be fine." I leaned into his palm and sighed._

"_Okay," I agreed, relief washing over me as I knew he would be. _

**A/N: I'm gonna update my other stories too!**


	5. Through Hell And Back

"So they are marrying?" Jacob asked. I sighed, "I thought he was gonna wait until he had his friends and family at some big dinner?"

"That's what I heard." I replied, "Maybe I missed it…thank god for that, too."

"No! You could have talked him out of it."

"Jake, there's no way that would have happened." I stressed, "She's beautiful, funny…and I'm just…me."

"And didn't you say he always loved you for that?"

"I'm not the one he's saying 'I love you' too, am I?" I asked irritated. I threw his watch on the couch and sighed again.

"You could be," Jacob added.

"Since when did my life become one of those stupid romance novels?" I heard Jake laugh on the other line.

"I don't know…but this whole situation sounds cliché." Jacob laughed. I growled in frustration, throwing my head back on the pillows of my bed.

"You're not helping Jacob!"

"And yet you always call me when you need help." He replied. I let it sink in, and then laughed; he was right.

"Well I can't exactly call Edward and tell him all of this, now can I?"

"Well, you could…but he might have you committed for it." Jacob replied. "He'd think you were insane for bottling it up all these years, and telling him before his wedding."

"Isn't that what you want me to do?"

"Yeah, but you reek of desperation right now….if he says no, being committed doesn't seem so bad."

"You're not making any sense, Dr. Phil." I answered; my head was spinning from his constant changes.

"Then I must be doing something right." I could hear a smirk in his voice, "Love isn't exactly that simple."

"Neither are you." I replied with a tired sigh. He laughed before I clicked 'end.'

**././.**

"_I hate him!" I yelled, turning away from Edward, "Jacob is a pig!"_

"_And you're just realizing this now?" Edward asked with a small chuckle. _

"_He was never that bad!" I said, "He never said those things before!"_

"_Yes he has, Bella." Edward replied, "I used to hang out with all the time, remember? I think I know what he did and didn't say."_

"_Little do you remember," I sighed, "I was always with you, when you were with Jacob."_

"_Not always. Besides, Charlie wouldn't let you near me with my friends until you were sixteen, so how could you possibly know what he did before now?" Edward disagreed, "You were too good to sneak out at midnight; until we started dating, at least." He said, leaning down to kiss me. _

"_Well I think Charlie knows about that. But he won't say anything." I added._

"_Of course he knows, Bella." Edward laughed, "You're with a Cullen." He sucked in a breath that raised his chest, making him look thicker. _

"_Nice try, but you're not Emmett." I smirked. _

"_I'm not trying to be Emmett. He's got the Wicked Bitch of the West as his girlfriend." Edward said, burying his face in my hair. His breath tickled my neck and I shivered. "You're cold?"_

"_Why do you always ask that?" I smirked, "You know what you do to me."_

"_I'm proud to say it's I who can make you redder than a rose." He laughed, kissing my forehead._

**././.**

I remembered the day like it was yesterday. Edward and I had been in the same class every year since third grade; and that was the first week we had become something more than friends. I miss him reminding me of when we were in the third grade; He used to call me _Whiney_ when I supposedly "_cried like I was eight_." And believe me, today I wanted too.

Lucky me, I get to go to the store and shop with Tanya and her bridesmaids. I would much rather be dead right now, but I promised Edward I would do this; for him…not for my benefit.

A car ride with Tanya and her friends made my head nearly explode; for I had no care about their previous sexual encounters. I remained quiet, and only talked when I was asked a question; which wasn't often since they mainly talked amongst themselves. I became royally pissed as Tanya talked about her and Edward being the most "amazing couple ever!" And her friends drooling over the stories she had to tell made me sick to my stomach. And that was when I began to wonder if she invited me to brag about the fact that I was being replaced.

We arrived at the store then, and I suddenly wished I could go to the bar three blocks away. I was never much of a drinker, but after today, I needed something to make me forget all the stories, and all the Tanya shit. "Isabella, what do you think about theses dresses?" Her sister, Kate, asked. I sighed.

"Bella," I corrected under my breath.

"What was that?" Kate asked. I shook my head.

"They're pretty." I said.

"No, no, no! I need beautiful!" Tanya replied, "And since you've known him like you're whole life, I figured you could help us with what he likes."

_Can't you do that, yourself? You've slept with him enough times_. I hissed in my mind viciously. "Yeah, sure," I sighed.

"Are you okay? You seem a little green." Tanya asked, placing her hand on my forehead. I wanted to shrink away from her touch, but it would have probably made her bat crap crazy.

"I just didn't get much sleep…I had a few things to do last night." I lied. Why didn't I just leave it at 'no sleep?' I was an awful liar!

"Oh, well it's good to see you can bring your work home!" Tanya smiled, "Assuming it was work, you know." I nodded. "I worked as a waitress, so I can't take that home with me; there's not much use." She and her friends laughed; a private joke? I didn't see what was so funny, but I faked a laugh anyway.

**././.**

Hours had passed and Tanya still hadn't found the _most beautiful, perfect dress_! They decided to give up and wait to drive to Los Angeles for more shopping; if they thought I was going with them all the way to Los Angeles, they would be sorely mistaken. Tanya and I were the only two left by the time we got back. I was thankful all her friends were going home; I might have literally died if I had to listen to another story about bad hair days and lost lipstick. Jacob would never hear the end of this rant, but that was for later. Right now, I wanted to get home and take a long bath.

"It wasn't so bad, was it?" Edward asked, nudging my arm; he broke me from my thoughts and I sighed.

"Gossip and shopping; way to try and kill me, Edward." I replied, "I'm about ready to go home and die in my bath; I'm exhausted."

"What, you can't stay for some more gossip?" He teased. I shot him the look of death at his joke.

"Edward, no!" I shook my head. "Tanya is great and all; but you try and stay in a car with seven other women talking about God knows what!"

"I couldn't last; that's why you went."

"Good night, Edward." I hissed, turning on my heel and leaving. I could hear him laugh as I stormed to the front door; with all too much force, I slammed the door shut and got into my car. I drove home, twenty miles above the speed limit; desperate to get home and sleep before I lost my mind.


	6. Open Arms

"_I lost my virginity in the back of my first boyfriend's car when I was fifteen!_" I quoted miserably. Jake coughed and sputtered; it sounded like he had been drinking something when I said this.

He burst into loud guffaws before calming himself and replying, "They seriously were talking about their sex lives? Geez you women are easy to get information out of when you're around a gossip crew."

"And after that they spent the next friggin' hour talking about their favorite shades of lipstick suddenly disappearing, only to find that either their ratty, purse dogs ate it, or it went through the wash." I sighed. "Tanya expects me to go all the way to Los Angeles with them now."

"Just say you have work to do," Jacob answered.

"To which, Blondie already replied, '_Can't you find another weekend to do it?_'" I said, mocking her voice poorly.

"You're in deep shit, Bells." Jake laughed.

"Hm, I wonder who got me there…probably my jackass friend who said to go after '_my man_,'" I said, exhaling another loudly, obnoxious sigh.

"I am the jackass at your service," Jake said, "No refunds if I screw ya!"

"Good thing I didn't pay you then."

"Yeah, but if you do, I'd like it in cash." Jake teased.

"I'm not paying you! Until your plan is bulletproof, I'm most likely not going to pay you."

"Wait, you'd really pay me?" Jacob asked. I rolled my eyes.

"Yeah, sure. But only if it works!" I said, "Otherwise, your not-so-broke broke ass can find cash elsewhere."

"I will try to guarantee it."

**././.**

_I sat by my car on the side of the road, crying hysterically. My car had run out of gas, and I could barely see through my eyes. I wanted to run my car off the road, and never see another day of this nightmare. Edward had just broken up with me, my scholarship was being ripped away from me because of some prank he pulled that I chose to pay for to keep him out of trouble, and now my mom had just died. _

_I couldn't do anything about my mother. I could, however, tell the principal it was Edward who had done the prank; I could still save my scholarship…but could I really do that to him? I loved him…I did love him. _

_Tell and you'll get that scholarship back!_

_**Tell and you'll lose Edward forever…**_

_It'd be the right thing to do!_

_**Edward will never forgive you…**_

_He said he would take the blame…he was royally pissed when he found out I took the blame. _

_**Tell the truth!**_

_The rain was pounding down on me as I cried against my knees. I brushed my hair back and lay down, resting on the cement. I was broken, and I didn't want to get better, but my mom wouldn't want to see me like this. A car came around the turn then, and I could faintly make out whose car it was. I closed my eyes and sighed; suddenly a car door opened, and closed, and footsteps got closer. "Bella Swan?"_

_I opened my eyes again to see Jacob Black standing above me, "What do you want?" I asked coldly. _

"_What the hell are you doing here?" He asked, sitting me up. I shoved out of his arms and turned away._

"_I'd like to be left alone, if you don't mind." _

"_And catch pneumonia? Because I think if you stay here in those wet clothes you're succeeding."_

"_I said I want to be alone!" I growled, "Go back to your friends, or wherever you were heading."_

"_Bella, come on." Jacob said lightly, "I'm trying to be nice here. If you need someone to talk too…I'm the only other around…you could talk to me?" He added. I felt his arms wrap around me as he picked up off the ground. "What do you say I get my dad to call a tow for this back to your house, and we get you back home to change out of these clothes?" I looked at him stunned. Was he joking? Or was he serious?_

"_You're serious?" I asked aloud. Jacob nodded. I smiled slightly. "Okay," I nodded, "Alright, fine."_

**././.**

I couldn't have thanked Jacob more; not just for being my savor in that moment, or for walking into my life with open arms when I needed it most, but for pulling me off that cement and being my friend. From that moment on, we became best friends; Charlie loved having him around and I loved when Jacob would ignore all of Edward's empty threats. He was basically my remedy when Edward was my poison. I love Jacob like a big brother; I was glad he didn't hate Edward anymore, but it was weird having him try to get us back together. Could it possibly work?


	7. Catching Up

**A/N: So sorry I didn't update yesterday! I had a field trip all day, and when I got home I had so much homework. Alas, this chapter should keep you busy for now. ****Notice: **_**Saturday there will be no update!**_

**././.**

**10:13AM - 1 Missed Call from Edward **

I sighed and redialed his number. It rang twice before the other line picked up; My throat closed up when Tanya picked up. "Hello?"

"Hi Tanya," I replied.

"Oh Bella! Hi! What's up?"

"I was calling Edward back; I guess he called me earlier?" I said, tapping the counter.

"Alright, hold on, I'll see where he is," She said.

"Okay," I answered, listening to her put her hand over the phone before calling for Edward. I heard his voice in the background and suddenly his voice came over the phone.

"Hey Bella," Edward greeted; I heard him quietly send Tanya away.

"Hey," I said, feeling stupid for even calling, "You called earlier?"

"Oh yeah, I was gonna ask if you wanted to hang out for a little bit; Tanya and her friends are going to L.A., and she thinks it'd be good if we spent some _'lost time'_ together…..her words, not mine," He said, laughing slightly. I muttered a small laugh and exhaled loudly.

"Uh yeah sure…when are they leaving?" I asked.

"Thirty minutes?" Edward guessed.

"Okay sure; I'll be over then." I replied.

"Great, see you then." Edward said before hanging up. I just hoped I wouldn't regret this once I was there.

**././.**

I parked in the driveway where Tanya's car had previously been. I looked up to see Edward standing right by my door; I jumped a few good feet and he shook with laughter. "Damn you, Edward!" I hissed, opening the door, hitting him purposely.

"Hey violence is never the answer," He teased, smirking.

"With a few exceptions," I claimed, rolling my eyes at him.

"Aw come on, you're not gonna get all pissed off at me, are you?" Edward asked. Little did he know, I was already prematurely pissed off at him for numerous things; but why let him know that? He'd assume it was a joke; I would have to club it into his thick skull for it to reach his brain before he understood. I smirked at the thought of it; but then quickly came down from that cloud.

"I will if you plan on scaring me all day," I retorted. He laughed again and sighed.

"Come on, I thought we could do something fun today." Edward added, pulling me up the stairs into the house.

"Your definition of fun and my definition of fun are two completely different things, Edward. I thought we established that a few years ago?" I said.

"Do you trust me?"

"That depends," I answered. He smirked again.

"You're so stubborn." He commented, looking me up and down. I could see the hunger in his eyes; but it made me wonder if it was real hunger, or just a _quick-fuck-mum-is-the-word_ kind of hunger.

"And taken," I lied.

"You have a boyfriend?" He asked, skeptical.

"What, you don't believe me?" I asked.

"Who is he?"

"Why does it matter?"

"There is no guy, is there?"

"So you're saying I can't get a boyfriend?" I asked, narrowing my eyes.

"No," Edward shook his head, "But if his name doesn't matter, then I assume you're single."

"Why, is somebody jealous?" I smirked, loving the fact that I had the upper hand.

"Bella, I'm engaged. If you have a boyfriend, then that's great." Edward replied quickly. I was disappointed by his answer; he didn't even care. "So what's his name?"

"…Riley," I said after a moment. It wasn't technically lying. I had dated Riley Biers for a short time; he was just too clingy, and the fact that we worked in the same building for nine hours, five days a week, made the suffocation ten times worse.

"You can invite him to the wedding, if you want." Edward suggested.

"No, I'm pretty sure he's busy covering for me at work," I said. I had actually gotten better at lying; that was Edward's doing of course. I would lie to Charlie and claim I would go to bed early, just so I could sneak out with Edward for hours. "So what do you have planned?"

**A/N: Sorry it's so short! I cannot promise any updates for the next 3 days because we have a big storm coming, and I don't know if our power will go out. If it does, no updates. However, I will spend my spare time writing new chapters to post afterwards.**


	8. Virtual Reality

**A/N: Power's back! New updates yay! However, only this one and Cold-Skinned tonight!**

"So what do you have planned?"

"Ah well, I was thinking of something fun," Edward replied, nudging my arm, "Come on, I have something to show you."

"It doesn't involve anything dangerous, right?" I asked unsure, "I don't want to end up driving you to the hospital and having to explain to bim—Tanya why you're there." Edward laughed; he hadn't caught my slip-up.

"You worry too much," Edward said, rolling his eyes. "But nothing highly dangerous."

"So, still dangerous," I confirmed. Following him out to his car.

"Essentially," He smirked, opening my door for me.

"Can't wait," I laughed, getting into the seat. He got into the driver's side and started up the car, quickly driving off. It was quiet for a long moment, but I suddenly laughed as I looked at the speed meter. Edward gave me a questioning look. "Sorry," I said through more laughter, "I forgot how fast you liked to drive…you're still the same, old you."

"You're almost the same, old you." Edward said, flashing me another smirk.

"Why the 'almost'?" I asked.

"Never mind," He replied quickly, clearing his throat; odd behavior, even for him. He was always confident, cocky Edward. Could it have been that he was…_nervous_?

No there was no way! That just wasn't him. I'd never seen him nervous, except for one time. We stayed quiet for the rest of the way; the place began to seem familiar, but it had been years, and I could barely remember what was so important here.

"Where are we going?" I asked, looking around. Edward laughed.

"Must you always ask that, Bella?" He snorted, "I mean, it doesn't bother me. I've always admired your curiosity; but it's always the same meaningless question when we're together. Do you not trust me?"

He was teasing me.

"Of course I trust you," I said all too quickly. His words registered with me, and I blushed involuntarily to myself. "What else have you…always admired about me?"

Edward sensed the unease in my voice and chuckled, "Bella, I'm sensing this conversation is going to turn around, back to us."

"Well, I want to know." I said, hiding my disappointment.

"I want to be practical, but I don't think you want to hear that." He said. I shook my head. He turned to look back at the road and sighed, "Uh, I don't…lots of things, I guess."

"I hate to sound pushy, but you're not giving me much."

"Okay…I like your aggressiveness." He replied, looking at me once more, "You were never afraid to fight back with me. I liked how you weren't a push over, and that you stood up for yourself."

"Are you referring to the—," I started laughing before I could finish speaking, and he joined in.

"Yeah, sort of," He laughed. When we calmed down, he spoke up again "God damn hit me that day…" I let out another laugh, and bit my lip.

"Well you deserved it," I smirked. He nodded.

He became serious again, "I guess that's just one of the things I miss the most about you, though." I turned to look at him, instantly meeting his green eyes. My breath caught in my throat, and I forced myself to easily let it go.

"What else?" I asked quietly. My heart ached as I yearned to know more.

"We're here!" He said, killing the engine and stepping out. I sighed and remained in my seat.

I looked around.

"Edward, wait!" I said, stepping out. He turned to look back at me. I wanted to tell him everything right there; it was the perfect moment. But something was stopping me, what the hell was trying to stop me? "Uh…why are we here again?" I stammered, changing my words.

Edward watched me, before slouching his shoulders, "Bella…I know you. You need to learn to say what's on your mind. You're gonna fucking explode one day if you don't." He stepped closer to me and bent down slightly so we were eye to eye. "Please?"

I looked into the deep depths of his green eyes; I nearly melted in that moment. He knew just how charming he could be, especially with me. But as I look closer, I could see an almost hopeful look in his eyes, and that scared me. It scared me, because I wondered if Tanya was just his excuse to get passed me, or if he was using her to get under my skin to make me realize what I was already aware of. "Where are we?" I asked again, much more confident than I felt. He sighed and straightened up.

"Look around," He said, "This isn't familiar to you?"

I did as he said, and my eyes were drawn to a large tree just in front of me. "Wait is this—?" I was stunned, "…this is _our_ tree." I said barely above a whisper.

"Yeah," Edward nodded, "I figured you'd maybe want to see it again."

"Why did you take me here?" I asked, turning to face him. My fingers absent-mindedly tracing over our carved initials.

"Because I still love you, Bella." He whispered, pulling me into his arms, and pressing a breath-taking kiss on my lips.


	9. Crashing of Reality

I flinched, my heart beating rapidly. Edward gave me a curious look as he stepped up next to me, "You okay?"

I nodded, "I'm fine." My mind had gone into a frenzy of emotions and daydreams as I looked at the tree. I ran my finger over his initials and sighed; the burning question needed to be asked. "Why did you bring me here?"

I knew my mind had played tricks on me before; but that just made me listen to his words harder.

"I thought, you know, maybe you'd want to see it again." He replied with a shrug.

"Is there something you're trying to tell me?" I asked.

"Is there something you're _not_ telling me?" He countered back. It caught me off guard for a moment and I stumbled over words. He nodded at my silence. "Alright, out with it."

"I don't know what you're talking about, Edward. Are you sure you haven't been inhaling too much fresh air?" I said, trying desperately to change the subject. I couldn't tell him what I wanted too; it would ruin everything, including this one last chance to see him before I let him go.

Letting go was a lot harder than it should have been.

"You always make jokes about my intelligence when I try to get into your head. So out with it." He repeated.

"Look, it's not really important." I sighed.

"Bella; we're in the middle of nowhere. Nobody within miles would hear what you have to say. Remember when we used to tell each other everything?" He asked quietly, "I want that trust back."

"Yeah, well we don't really have that kind of relationship anymore, do we?" My words came out more bitter than I intended, but I was too late to stop them.

"Bella—,"

"No. You're with Tanya. Anything I say now will screw it up. Please don't make me say it, Edward. Because I don't want too, and you most likely won't want to hear it."

I give him credit; he was staying much calmer than me.

Tears were beginning to threaten my eyes, "Bella, I always want to hear what you have to say. We still have that best friend connection only you and I understand."

"Did you ever think that maybe that's not enough?" I asked after a long moment. He pondered that thought, and it gave me enough time to regret those words. I needed to learn to bite my tongue when I was with him. "I'm sorry if today's not what you hoped it would be. But if you don't mind, I'd like to go home now."

"Bella, wait! Can we just talk about this, please?" He begged, quickly grabbing my arm to prevent me from getting into his car.

"Why?" I hissed, "Damn it, Edward! You want to know? Fine! I'm practically standing here in front of you fighting tears back because _you're not mine_! I can't have you! Life can't—it won't work that way! You're marrying Tanya, and I'm going back Tacoma once this is all over! I'm only here because you wanted me to be! I don't care about the wedding! I'll admit; I'm fucking jealous of Tanya! But I can't make you choose between us, because you can't just leave her for me!" I wiped at my eyes, feeling like a child. I watched as he registered each word, and his stunned expression grew greater. "You wanted to know what I was thinking; well now you know."

"I know this doesn't make a difference. But you have a right to know, and I know I would have regretted never telling you," I sobbed, turning away from me. I was a twenty-one year old woman throwing a jealousy fit in front of the man I could never have. I couldn't stop myself from running; I bolted through the trees and kept running. I wanted to be alone. I wanted to run away somewhere, where I would never be found.

I felt like a cowardice child, hiding from a monster. However, that monster was a beautiful angel that had every piece of my heart, and could break it in seconds. I could hear Edward calling out after me as I ran further into the greenery.

I reached pavement then, and finally slowed down. I felt eighteen again as I sat down on the cool ground and cried into my knees. I felt worse than awful; I had to tell him. And now the stale taste of reality hit me as I realize how much my words had affected everything. I had to leave Forks; I couldn't stay for the wedding…it would hurt too much. And I was pretty sure Edward wouldn't want to see me now.

I fucked everything up; I just wanted to go home and meet Jacob at the airport. I wanted him to make me laugh until my chest hurt; I wanted him to make me forget the hollow ache that was slowly consuming my heart right now.

I had to leave before I caused more damage! I didn't want to hurt what Edward and Tanya had; running away was a stupid thing, that I knew…but I needed Edward to know how I felt, and that maybe we could both move on.


	10. Nothing To Lose Now

_**Edward's POV:**_

_Because you're not mine!_

God dammit! Why the hell did this infuriatingly beautiful woman have to mix with my emotions? Every time I was with her, something would stir up, and it took everything in me not to kiss her.

And now, watching her run away from me like I was going to fucking kill her hurt like hell. I called after her, but it only made her run faster. I tried to follow her through, but by the time I got past the cloud bank, she was gone.

I quickly got back into my car and drove back the way we came; hoping to find her. Her words echoed through my mind as I drove in panicked silence. Why did she have to be so god damn selfless? I wish she had just stayed and talked to me; she was always mine, but I could never hold onto her long enough! She always ran away before I could get my explanation through her.

All I wanted to do now was find her; I didn't care about Tanya, or our wedding, or the fact that she would go batshit crazy later when I got home from being away from her too long. Bella would have never done that to me; she might have gone batshit crazy for a minute, but she would have forgiven it.

Tanya, god she was another story. In a way, she was perfect…but she wasn't perfect for me. She deserved someone else; someone who would listen to her, and would love it when she got pissed off. That's how it always was between Bella and I. That's how it should have been now; except, I'd fucked up and made things further between us.

I couldn't believe the stupid grin that almost crossed my face when Bella said she didn't care about the wedding. Could I really just call it quits with Tanya?

I wished Bella had spoken up before any of this; it would have been easier. Her righteous attitude was what kept her from saying anything. That annoyed the fuck out of me when she said things late. She always missed her chance. I wouldn't let her do that this time; I couldn't let her go again.

Seeing her run away from me _again_, made me feel like I was nineteen _again_.

After what seemed like forever, the sky began growing darker, and I still hadn't found her. Although, I wasn't going to give up. She couldn't walk back to Forks in the dark, and I refused to leave her.

A figure jumped out from the bushes on the side of the road, and I swerved the car away from it. It was Bella! I left the engine running and stepped out, "Jesus Christ! Bella why the hell did you jump out in front of my car? Suppose that wasn't me?" I growled, running up to her. I felt awful instantly and shook my head to dismiss it.

"I-I'm sorry," She sniffed, rubbing her eyes.

"I don't want us to be like this again, Bella. We'll be running in a full circle, and ignoring each other isn't going to work." I sighed, pulling her into my chest. She stiffened and tried to pull away. "No, stop it!" I bent down to be eye level with her and ran my thumbs under her eyes to clear her tears. "Please, just get into the car and let us talk about _us_."

"I can't," Her voice cracked, looking down at the ground. On instinct, I sprang forward, crashing my lips down on hers. Her stiff body relaxed underneath me; but I knew all too well, it wouldn't last. She gasped and pushed me back, "Edward!"

"Tell me that doesn't change anything," I said, ignoring her protest, "If you tell me that it does, it'll be you and me. If it doesn't, then I'll leave you alone."

"You're not thinking clearly!" She sighed, "Don't feel like you _have_ to make me happy."

"I don't have too," I argued, "I want too, Bella! You deserve that. I put you through shit because my dumbass self didn't know the difference between being nice and faking a smile."

"Edward you just can't close the door on Tanya." Bella replied, "That's not fair to her." Luckily, I expected her to be this difficult; too damn selfless. I pulled my phone out, pressing the call button.

"Dammit, Bella!" I hissed, "Don't you get it? It's always been you! I love Tanya, but not as much as I love you! I realize that now."

"Why now?" She asked, "Because I told you how I feel? Edward, I can't! I mean…you can't do that to her. We broke up three years ago! If you're with Tanya then I'm going to assume you've moved on!"

"But I haven't!" I pleaded, "I can talk to Tanya."

"You can't! You can't make that kind of commitment, and break it off all because of an old flame!" She cried.

"It's not an old flame, Bella! It's always been here!" I watched her guard fall for a short second, before she turned away.

"Just go home, and go through with it, Edward. You can't do that to her."

"Too late," I sighed. She turned back to me with a look of slight horror, and confusion.

"Meaning?" Bella asked, stepping forward. I held my phone out to her. She choked back a scream, only to lash out on me moments later.

"Are you fucking insane, Edward Cullen!" She shouted, pushing me backwards, "You don't pretend to call somebody just so they'll hear it's over!"

"Funny; you were quite hypocritical back then." I said, taking my phone back. Anger coursed through her expression, and she slapped me across the face.

"For your information, I didn't accidentally call you and say everything I was feeling!"

"So you purposely called me?" I shouted back.

"No!"

"Oh come on, Bella! I know you! I know you're lying!"

"Well if you know, then why the hell does it matter? How the hell did this conversation turn on me?" She yelled angrily.

"Well maybe Tanya needed to hear it!" I said quickly, "Unlike you, I might actually be able to talk to her without her screaming at me!"

Bella laughed, "You really think she'd be any different from me at this point? Edward she's going to kill you! And for that dumbass move, I might just let her!"

"Tell me this doesn't make you feel the slightest bit better?"

"Does it look like things are better?" Bella cried, "God, Edward, you can be such a moron sometimes!"

"So now that the wedding could potentially be over, you don't feel any better?"

"No! Because that's not how these things work! Maybe now I remember why things between _us_ never worked out!" She hissed. I started to see red; and it began to take everything in me not to pin her to the car and just yell at her. She watched my expression change, and suddenly turned her back to walk the other way.

That sent me raging anymore; she always assumed things were over, when they clearly weren't even halfway through. I chased after her, grabbing her arms a little too tight. Bella winced in pain, trying to pry my fingers from her arms. The look of pain in her expression shot me to the core, and made me realize I was hurting her. I let go instantly and tried to calm down.

"I thought we were done." She replied icily. I growled in the back of my throat, irritated.

"Fucking god," I muttered, "Stop doing that!"

"Doing what?"

"Acting like things are over!" I replied, "Did it ever occur to you that I wanted things to work between us? _Did you ever stop and think that maybe we were never over to begin with?"_


	11. Tanya or Bella?

"_Did you ever stop and think that maybe we were never over to begin with?_" She watched me curiously, almost shocked before her expression hardened again.

"If it was never over, then why the hell are you with Tanya? Why are you leading her on like that?" Bella shouted, "You're using her Edward!"

"No, I love Tanya, but not as much as I love you. I love you in ways I'll never understand!" I yelled back, taking a step closer. Bella glanced at me before sobbing again.

"Edward I love you too…but I can't." She said, "You can't just leave Tanya and pretend it'll all be okay."

"Leave me?" _Tanya_. How the hell did she know where we were? Bella's eyes grew wide, and she gasped. I spun around to face Tanya. She looked calm; would she suddenly start freaking out on me?

"I-I have t-to go." Bella said, before I could stop her she started walking away, nearly sprinting a few moments later.

"What are you two arguing about?" Tanya asked, "I got out of my car and heard you were leaving me?" I sighed, ready to explain myself, and she looked relieved; catching me off guard. "It's about time you spoke up Edward…because to be honest, I love you, but I'm not ready for marriage…and I think you belong with Bella, more than you belong with me."

I stared at her, stunned. "Wait—you're actually o-okay with this?" I asked. Tanya nodded, giving me a small smile.

"I love you Edward," She repeated, "Go find Bella, I'll go find my true love." She cracked another smile and leaned into to kiss my cheek, before wrapping me in a hug.

"I'm sorry, Tanya." I replied, "I love you too, and I was never using you, I promise you that."

"I know. But I don't think I would have minded too much, seeing as with everything that's happened. Bella is your other half, and you need her. I'll be fine. I'll explain to the others we weren't ready for marriage, and that we just didn't feel anything for each other after all."

"Would you wait to say that? I want to be there with you when we explain it so they don't assume I just left you, because that won't look good."

"Okay," Tanya nodded.

_**(Bella's POV):**_

_My phone buzzed loudly, and I looked down glaring at it. Edward was calling me. I picked it up, preparing myself to yell at him, "You know, Edward, I'm really not in the mood to talk to you right now."_

_I almost hung up there but his words stopped me, "Now hang on, you may be done talking, but I sure as hell am not."_

"_What, did you call to break me some more?" I growled irritated. Did you call to ask why I cry on the cold, bathroom floor every night? Did you finally listen to my damn voicemails from god knows when? _

"_No, Bella, we need to talk." He replied._

"_About what?" I said, showing in my voice how much I didn't want too._

"_About the way you acted around Tanya." He said, waiting for my response._

"_Edward, you're not my father. I don't need you telling me about my attitude. I've grown up, surely you've noticed." I said with a hint of venom coating my words._

"_From that display yesterday, I would have thought otherwise." Ouch. That hurt. I remained quiet and he sighed, "I didn't mean that."_

"_You didn't?" I asked doubtful. "Because it sure seems like you did." _

"_I don't mean that," He repeated._

"_Whatever, what do you want, Edward?" I said. I was used to his verbal abuse sometimes; he would claim he didn't mean it. I was only used to it because he was my best friend in high school. He was the only one who noticed me. _

"_I told you already," Edward said, "Why can't you accept Tanya?"_

This illusion always played in my mind; because I always expected us to end up like this ever since I heard about Tanya. And they were probably arguing because of me; Tanya was most likely destroyed and heartbroken.

Could Edward really have used her to get to me?

As I thought about it, my phone went off and Edward's name was on the screen. I sighed, wiping my eyes and answering it, "Hello."

"Bella, can we talk please?" His voice was soft, and he was almost pleading.

"Does Tanya hate me now?" I asked.

"She has more reason to hate me, Bella," Edward replied, "But no, she doesn't hate either of us."

"What? What do you mean?" I nearly cried, stunned she seemed fine.

"She told me she originally didn't want to go through with it; she wasn't ready." Edward answered, sighing loudly, "She said she didn't feel anything, and to be quite honest, I felt something for her when we met, but nothing afterwards."

"So there was no damage to the Volvo?" I said, teasing slightly.

Edward chuckled, "No, the Volvo still looks good as new. But I need to talk to you, and I need you to listen."

I hesitated, but resigned, "Okay."

**A/N: Sorry to end there. I didn't forget to update Wednesday I actually had a college tour to go on that went on all day. So I had this typed up, but I never was able to post it. I just added this little note for you guys. To the guest who reviewed, did you get bored already? No, I did not. I just haven't had the time, or much of the inspiration. Thursday I probably could have updated, but most likely forgot. Terribly, terribly sorry. Thank you for your patience and reviews! **


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